Picture a juggler—clown garb and all. She tosses one task into the air, catches another, then adds three more that must be swiftly balanced. Before she knows it, a storm of responsibilities is flying overhead, each one demanding care, attention, and a firm grip.
This is the life of a mom. But not just any mom. This is the conscientious, constantly productive mom. The one who leaves no stone unturned, no talent unexplored, and no opportunity unchecked—until it’s been fully Sherlock Holmed.
These are the moms stretched beyond thin. The ones whose exhaustion spans lifetimes, not just moments or days. The ones who place their children’s needs far above their own, who sprint from point A to point B without ever reaching a finish line.
Are you her?
Let me let you in on a little secret:
You’re allowed to rest.
You are allowed the same love and attention you so freely and selflessly give to others.
Many moms confuse selflessness with self-neglect. They struggle to disconnect from the constant duties of motherhood long enough to do something that’s both simple and profound: rest.
To just breathe. To relax.
I’m guilty too. As I sit here in the salon chair, hair being conditioned, I’m writing this post—because I believe in its message.
I leaned back into the sink and tried to enjoy the vigorous scalp massage, but my brain kept sprinting through a mental list of to-dos.
Because downtime isn’t easy.
But here’s the truth:
We, as women, need to change this—for ourselves, and for the generations coming after us.
These habits didn’t start yesterday. They’re generational. Passed down. Woven into our history and etched into our DNA.
Take my grandmother, for example. I remember her strapping a machete to her hip, diving into muddy trenches without hesitation. She worked her farmland tirelessly and carried baskets of produce to the market to sell. She lost all three of her sons young—and I don’t remember seeing her cry.
Maybe she did in the silence of the night.
But rest? That wasn’t part of her vocabulary. And while her tireless spirit earned respect, I sometimes wonder if she ever truly felt joy. If she ever stopped to smell the roses.
Her life was filled with hardship, yes—but also triumph. She rose from poverty, gave selflessly, and served everyone around her.
Still, I can’t shake the feeling: she always came last.
I see the same pattern in my mother.
She never makes excuses.
I can never convince her to slow down.
Her work ethic is unmatched, but I often wonder: at what cost?
As moms, we’ve become rest deficient.
These cycles teach us both the beautiful and the burdensome parts of motherhood. We inherit resilience, drive, and discipline—but also burnout, guilt, and the inability to pause.
This post isn’t here to dismiss work ethic or selfless love. It’s here to say:
Mom, you matter too.
With that said—
Isn’t it time you took center stage?
Ways to Put Yourself First (Sans Guilt) and Take Center Stage as a Mom:
- Schedule sacred time for yourself—non-negotiable.
Even 20 minutes a day of uninterrupted time for you—whether that’s a walk, journaling, or doing absolutely nothing—is a radical act of self-love. - Normalize rest.
Not earned rest. Not productive rest. Just rest—because you’re human, not a machine. - Say “no” without overexplaining.
Every time you say yes to something that drains you, you’re saying no to something that restores you. Flip the script. - Get dressed for you.
Wear something that makes you feel powerful, beautiful, or like you—even if you’re not going anywhere. Your reflection matters. - Ask for help (and accept it without apology).
Strength is in support. Let others show up for you too. - Do something just because it brings you joy.
Not for your partner, your kids, or your business. Just you. Joy is reason enough. - Give yourself permission to unplug.
Set boundaries around phone time, emails, and expectations. Presence is a gift—especially when you give it to yourself. - Reclaim your voice.
Speak up for what you need. Advocate for your desires. You’re not “too much.” You’re not “selfish.” You’re worthy. - Reflect on your dreams.
The ones before motherhood. Revisit them. Rewrite them. Reignite them. You’re still allowed to dream big. - Create moments of stillness.
Sit with your coffee. Breathe in the morning. Pause before bed. In the quiet, you remember who you are.
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